I decided to create the character of Tae Kwon Do Man for two primary reasons. First, I wanted to bring a little humor and levity to the subject of the martial arts. Over the many years as both a student and as an instructor, all too often I found that the people I talked with had the idea that most martial artists were stoic, sullen, and stern-faced individuals who went out looking for reasons to fight. They believed that because the training required such a high level of discipline in order to be successful, a martial artist did not know how to relax, have fun, and laugh. In my experience, I discovered just the opposite. I have had the pleasure of meeting and working out with many wonderful light-hearted and good natured people. They were very personable, quite easy to get to know, and did not take themselves too seriously, other than when it came to focusing on their martial arts training. They enjoyed social gatherings as much as anyone else, often helping to liven up the party because of their outgoing personalities. Through their training, they had developed the self confidence to be able to walk over to people whom they didn’t know and to strike up conversations with them – interested in listening, just as much as expressing their own thoughts and ideas. They genuinely enjoyed the prospects of making new friends.

However, in spite of all of this, today, I believe that many non-martial artists still cling to these old outdated beliefs. As I meet new people and the conversation swings over to the invariable topic of my background in the martial arts, unfortunately, I still sense at least a mild change in their attitude toward me. Perhaps some martial artists subscribe to the “mightier than thou” mentality. In fact, I’m sure there are some who do. But I’m not one of them. And I don’t find that I run into such egotists very often. In my opinion, as a whole, they are a dying breed. Unlike perhaps in the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s, they are much more the exception than they are the rule in today’s world. Regrettably, no matter how talented such individuals are, I believe that they have missed out on the true meaning and spirit of Tae Kwon Do. True to the old adage of one bad apple can spoil the whole bunch, these few have spoiled the public’s perspective for the rest of us. And, unfortunately, in today’s fast paced world, most people just don’t have or won’t take the time to sufficiently research and investigate a self defense school. Given the opportunity, I think they would discover that the philosophies of the good schools match up very well with their own ideas and views.

The second reason for creating this character is twofold. First, to hopefully help dispel any myths that only athletic people can become successful martial artists. And second, that martial arts training creates and promotes negative aggressive behavior.

All too often, especially from adults, I have heard that self defense training is just too physically demanding. Most of the time, however, I’ve learned these same people have never even taken a class. It’s more a perception on their part instead of reality. Little do they know just how uncoordinated and gangly most of us were in the very beginning. I believe that often they just have too high an aversion to taking any type of risk. They are so afraid of looking silly that it prevents them from trying something that they would probably really enjoy, if given a fair chance.

I have a story about one of my favorite students that I always use whenever I’m talking to people who don’t believe they have the required athleticism to begin taking Tae Kwon Do lessons. I would like to briefly share it with you, too. Her name is Mary. She was already 65 years old when she first started taking classes with me. For a Mother’s Day gift, her two daughters, who were already students of mine, enrolled her in my school. Naturally she was at first apprehensive, but all I asked of her was that she come to class regularly and to do her best during each class. If anyone had an excuse that martial arts training was too tough an undertaking, it would have been her. But she didn’t. Instead, she trusted me and took me at my word. Mary trained with me for the next seven plus years, earning her first degree black belt along the way. She would still be training today except she wanted to spend more time with her grandchildren. It had nothing to do with being physically unable to continue her training. To this day, I am still in contact with her.

So, when I use to hear about adults who believed that they are either too old or too uncoordinated or too whatever, I always shared Mary’s story with them. For some of them, it helped. Hearing her story changed their perspective and many of them subsequently enrolled in my school. While for others it made no difference at all. They had convinced themselves that self defense training was not for them and weren’t going to change their minds no matter what I told them. They were just too prideful, stubborn, or scared to even try a class. And that’s too bad. They missed out on a wonderful experience – and the health benefits would have helped them tremendously.

And I feel no different today. As I meet new people and we talk about the martial arts, I still tell my Mary story and stand by my opinion that they should at the very least investigate the prospects of taking self defense.

For those people who believe that Tae Kwon Do teaches overly aggressive or arrogant behavior, I have always tried to show them that under a good martial arts program, that isn’t the case. Yes, the students are learning how to protect themselves, which also includes learning ways to fight back, but from a self defense point of view – in a situation where someone else is the aggressor and trying to do them bodily harm. My training, and therefore, what I taught my students, was not to be the initiator, but rather to use their martial arts only as a last resort. While I still had my school, I constantly invited people to come and watch my classes. It didn’t matter whether they were looking to train themselves or, in the case of parents, to have me training their children. I wanted them to see, first hand, that the right martial arts environment would provide many significant benefits for the student, without teaching violent behavior.

Now since I’m no longer teaching, I have high expectations for my Tae Kwon Do Man character. I hope that he can help me continue to change some of the misconceptions that many people still harbor about learning self defense. I hope that he will bring a new awareness to people and will both influence and educate a much wider, far reaching audience than I could have ever influenced during my years as an instructor. One of his main focuses is to show that a person taking Tae Kwon Do classes can get several significant benefits through this training. I know, however, trying to overcome the current misconceptions, will be an uphill battle. But, since Tae Kwon Do Man’s philosophy is to help develop better people, thereby enriching society, it is a battle well worth fighting.

I sincerely hope that you enjoy the following story. Although it is a fictionalized account, I have based it on my experiences over the years and on feedback that I received from actual students or from parents of actual students.

And now, on to the story of how Tae Kwon Do can help build self confidence ...